Why I Put My Oxygen Mask on First – Guest Post by Mom & Boot Camper
I admit that I used to think it seemed a bit counterintuitive when the airline attendants would insist on obtaining verbal agreement from parents that they would put on their own oxygen masks before putting one on their baby should we all find ourselves in an emergent situation. “Really,” I’d think to myself, “wouldn’t any good parent actually slip the mask on their child first?”
The answer, I have learned, is no.
Here’s why. If that young parent passes out from lack of oxygen, who is going to help the baby? I get it now.
Extending this as metaphor to life in general, it holds true.
Too often as a young mom of a 19 month old toddler, I wonder if I’m doing things well enough. I wonder if my daughter feels loved enough. I wonder if I’m making choices that will affect her profoundly in ways that will be complex. I’m shaping her concept of reality and making lasting imprints on her consciousness; I’m shaping her perception of how the universe works. That’s a huge responsibility. I wondered about this all last year when I juggled full-time work and full-time graduate school. I still wonder about this now that I’m in the role of primary caregiver.
This past September–with my Master’s degree freshly obtained–my husband and I packed up our little log cabin life in Pennsylvania and headed west in search of some much needed change. Last year had some pretty big challenges for our little family, and we were determined to improve our circumstances, even if that meant losing a lot of stability (i.e., 2.8 acres of glorious Chester County land in a quaint and cozy home with a wood-burning fireplace, family and friends nearby, and all sense of familiarity).
Nothing changes when you’re comfortable; that’s what Angela says. She’s right. Sometimes we are the ones who have to push ourselves into discomfort to bring much needed change. Other times life has a way of telling you when you need change; in fact when things get tough enough, we may finally consider taking risks that we may have not considered viable options until it got that bad. We may consider new beginnings when something else ends. Sometimes doors close. Sometimes hearts get broken. Sometimes we get frustrated with ourselves and decide that it’s finally time to self-improve.
When life is uncomfortable–painful even–that’s when we need to draw on our resources to decide what we are going to do. Implicit in that statement is that we have resources. But resources don’t just come from nowhere. We have to find ways to strengthen, to equip, and to reinforce ourselves.
See–we can’t control life. We all know that. What we can control is how we respond. Our thoughts. Our attitudes. Our beliefs. Our behavior. When I first moved out here, I felt like everything was a blue screen and I was just standing in front of it. I had experienced so much change it seemed really challenging to feel like I was actually integrated into my new environment, my new life.
Then I started boot camp. Something magical happened to me. I would leave boot camp feeling so drained that I felt stronger. I had somehow managed to convert all the crap that had been bogging me down into self-empowerment, strength, inner peace, and a sense of self-efficacy. I know that vigorous exercise has many well documented physiological benefits. But I’ve worked out a lot. Angela’s boot camp is something more than just working out.
Angela has a way of pushing you to push yourself! The inspired bit of the company’s name, Body Inspired Fitness, is no joke. She really has a gift at getting inside your psyche and helping you channel what it is that motivates you to bring much needed change into your life. I find that throughout the week when I’m out running on my own her words return to me and her influence is present in my workout. It’s clear to me that when I’m at boot camp it’s not just my muscles getting stronger; it’s my whole person. She has given me a psychological tool kit for coping with life, for training myself to make time and space for the kind of life that I need to live to be well.
And that’s not even mentioning the camaraderie I feel with the other boot campers each session. After engaging in that kind of intense experience several times a week with the same group of people, I can’t help but feel like we’re all part of something bigger–the collective human experience. I know each person there has brought there own stuff to process and to transform into energy for life; I see the evidence for that magical transformation on each person’s face from the beginning to the end of a boot camp session.
I thought that I was signing up for one session of boot camp when I first moved here to LA. I thought that I’d drop a few pounds, get back in shape, and that would be it. Now, I feel like boot camp is my oxygen mask. It’s where I go to get the resources I need to live my life, and ultimately, to give back to others in my life who I love (i.e., my daughter). SO, honestly, I think the airlines have had it right all along; put your oxygen mask on first. Do it. Whether you’re a parent, or whether you’re reaching for your dreams in a pursuit that takes everything you’ve got every day, or perhaps you’re just living a life trying to be the best version of you that you can be–you won’t be good to anyone else if you try to go without giving yourself essential resources first.
