I like to think of my body as my best friend. She’s there for me. When I ask her to work really hard, she does it. No matter the task, I know she’s just trying to please me. When she gets a little caught up in sweets, treats and couch potato-ing, I have to step in, and haul her sweet little ass into a workout routine she can stick to. An eating plan that she can realistically follow. And then like a phoenix from the ashes, our freshly strengthened and trim body will emerge.

We have to love our body all the time. We have to love it ALL. You might do some damage that you can’t undo. Or hurt your own feelings by neglecting a proper routine. I watch people sometimes, punishing themselves for their need to step out of a routine or after they step on the scale. It’s a cycle: get in shape, get out of shape, beat yourself back into shape. If you just loved yourself, no matter how you looked, imagine how much quicker you’d catch yourself before a downfall, or how much easier it would be to bounce back from one?

You must be happy in the body you have while you work at the body you want. It must be a deep respect and love. It’s the secret ingredient to a happy and healthy life. Because if you don’t love you in all of your amazing ups and downs, then who will?

What is the game changer? Angela challenged us all to set goals that we would accomplish outside of boot camp, and we had to reach those goals by the end of this session. Partly, this exercise in reaching beyond our standard workout routine was to help us realize how consistent work over time can really add up to something big. For example, I ran two or three times per week outside of boot camp and ran more than my 50 mile goal. I just kept at it, knowing that each Friday morning Alyson (an amazing person who works for Body Inspired Fitness) would come around with her clipboard to ask me what I did toward my goals that week. Having that accountability really makes a difference when it’s 5:00 am and everyone else (including my dog) is sound asleep in the house.

The other part of the game-changer mission was to get us to move ourselves up to another level of fitness, toughness, and empowerment. That’s certainly what I got out of it, anyway.

A side note about running: when I first started running, I hated it. I only started running because, in the middle of the winter in Pennsylvania, the gym is an easy choice for working out when it’s dark and cold. The elliptical machines were so high in demand at the gym that I eventually decided to use the dreaded treadmill. I couldn’t run for more than 15 minutes at a time, and running is a loose term for the pace I kept. I just kept at it, though, because I started to see improvement after even just a few days of consistent work. Within one year from that point, I ran a marathon and actually enjoyed running it.

Running is so physically demanding that it has changed me from the inside out. When I started running consistently as a normal part of my life, it made me a tougher human being. It made me decide that the only way I’d let myself fail was trying my hardest to still succeed. I could modify, take a rest, whatever I needed—but I would keep going. It’s impossible to fail with that rule. It has served me well in life in general.

In addition to setting the goal of running 50 cumulative miles outside of boot camp over the 6-week session, I also set the goal of running a half marathon (13.1 miles) all in one shot. This was important to me because I hadn’t done this since before pregnancy 2 1/2 years ago. Something about the fact that my body was primarily considering someone else’s life for the better part of two years (between pregnancy and nursing) made me wonder if I would ever be able to push my body to run a long distance like that again. Those two years were wonderful and well worth the physical sacrifices, but–as the word sacrifice indicates–there are some physical limitations that come with the arrangement. Also, within the course of those two years, I turned 30.

With the above changes in mind, I felt that I needed to know that I could still run hard for a long time to feel like a fully functioning and happy version of myself. I needed to reaffirm to myself that even though I’ve changed my social roles in some major ways over the past two years (not in my 20’s anymore and a mother), I still get to determine my identity.

I want to have a quality of life that requires being in the kind of shape where I can scamper up mountains on the weekend if my husband and I get a chance to steal away on our own for 24 hours. I want to be able to go for a post-Valentine’s day run and know that I’m putting those chocolates I ate to good use. I want to have the energy and vitality to play with my daughter who is constantly on the move. In my life, being happy means being fit.

Not only do I want to take advantage of my youth now to be fit and healthy, but I want to build a foundation of health that will last my lifetime. My husband and I would like to have another child at some point, and I know that will mean another couple of years where my physical activity might not be quite so vigorous. Proving to myself that I could go through those intense physical changes of pregnancy, child birth, nursing, and then back to running long distances was pretty darn empowering. It helps me know that if I did it once, I can do it again. Thanks to all the balanced workouts that Angela designs (various types of strength training, cardio, and stretching), my body cranked out that 13.1 mile run faster than I ever did pre-pregnancy.

Also, I hope to enjoy many years ahead of me. I want to be able to eventually do these favorite active pastimes as a whole family once our kids are grown and then continue to do them into my older age. I have a Great Uncle who runs marathons and is in his upper 70s. I’m keeping my eye on that guy, and I hope to follow in his footsteps.

The game changer component of this boot camp reminded me that I want to reach new goals. I want to keep dreaming about and planning new mountains to climb, more races to run, and new trails to backpack. Whatever adventures I can imagine, I want to be physically ready to enjoy them. Boot camp is about more than just what happens at class. It’s also about what you do with that strength and training on your own time. The two combined: that’s the game changer. Take your fitness to a new level. Set concrete goals and design a plan to achieve those goals in a specified amount of time. Don’t limit yourself by society’s idea about what someone “your age”, “your gender”, or someone in a social role that you have can be. You decide who you are. You decide what you do. Be confident in who you are and then reach a little further to keep defying limits. In the words of the great Angela Parker, “You are stronger than you think you are.”

You’re not alone. We know this about guilty pleasures. One of the beautifully common things that come with being human. What we don’t know is how to give in without giving up on restraint, self-control and sabotaging all the hard work we do to stay healthy and fit. I thought of some easy-to-follow guidelines that keep me strong when I fear my craving will take over. I know rules suck, but I am a person that operates really well in structured situations with boundaries. So if it helps me, it may help you!

Rule #1: Allow yourself a timeline for your guilty pleasure. If the only time you crave sweets is when you are PMSing, then that is the only time during the month that you can have chocolate, or french fries. That’s once every 28 days! That’s pretty good! You have time to plan what you will treat yourself, and as you get closer to the date, you have an image of what will satiate this craving. When you walk by a frozen yogurt store, you remember that you’ve got 12 days until you can indulge.

Rule #2: Have a plan. You can’t pick french fries off of your friend’s plate. Do you know how many of my friends eat french fries regularly? Or how often I have switched plates with them to finish “their” french fries? That’s why I have a plan. If I’m going to have french fries, I make them. I bake them, with salt and garlic and I love them. They are exactly what I want. They are also probably lower in fat, oil, salt and cellulite. The way I see it.

Rule #3: Try to make it as healthy as possible. If you know you’re going to a wedding in March, then that will be the night you have your cake for the month. Since you don’t want to go crazy, choose the smallest slice. You’ll feel better trust me.

If you follow these three simple rules, I swear, you will feel okay about it. You have to give in sometimes. Maybe it’ll be every two weeks? Whatever works for you. But if you go into a craving not making a decision beforehand, you could end up getting really upset with yourself afterwards! That’s never worth it, so make sure you go into your decisions, especially with what you put in your body, consciously. It’s when we lose ourselves, lose track of what we are eating, that we truly start to lose our grip. And the more you practice this kind of eating, the easier it will be.

It’s this approach that keep us in our bodies. They are called “guilty pleasures” because they probably aren’t that good for you. But if you approach them with a level head, then you don’t have to feel guilty. Then, it’s just pleasure. Clean and easy. Who doesn’t love that?!

I will let you in on my secrets…my guilty pleasures. I know you find some pleasure in these as well..come on just admit it! No need to be shy here.

When I was single, I would hear friends agonize over whether to get the guy something on V-Day? If I was dating someone and didn’t see or hear from them on that day, was it an indication of how serious it was NOT? And now that I’m in a relationship, if he doesn’t want to celebrate our relationship with flowers or jewelry or dinner, does that mean we’re getting stale? All of these questions that circulate around this one day, for what? To drum up insecurity that forces you to either spend too much money or feel sorry for ourselves!

I don’t appreciate being told how to feel about my current relationship status, so instead, I like to concentrate on what I like to call my REVENGE BODY. Don’t fall into the stereotype of the chocolate eating, giggly girl that wets herself when she’s presented with something that sparkles. We are intelligent women, we make choices, and we can buy it ourselves. Rebelling against this holiday is much more fun.

For the weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day, I know you’ve worked your ass off. Don’t get depressed if you’re single or worried that your significant other isn’t going to acknowledge the day, take it back! Look hot, feel hot, you deserve to! Do whatever you want to celebrate Love! Who wants to be in a stuffy restaurant wedged between a couple that can barely stand one another and a couple sucking face in between courses of pasta?

Why don’t you utilize your Revenge Body. Wear whatever the hell you want to, but make sure it’s tight, because you work hard for what you’ve got. Then get some girls together and celebrate Gal-entine’s Day! It helps in so many ways. For instance, if you go out with your girls, you can split dishes, which will help you KEEP your Revenge Body. You don’t have to put pressure on eHarmony or your man or the couch to make you feel more loved! You depressurize the dreaded 14th of February. You take yourself back. And celebrate all the love in your life. Obviously this usually takes two days, so I like to celebrate Gal-entine’s Day on the 15th of February. It keeps me motivated if I do go out on V-Day not to go overboard. It also keeps me excited for the next day!

No matter what you end up doing, this is a time to reflect on all the love you’ve got. And if you need a reminder, your lady friends are always there for you. To cry with, to snack with, to workout with, and to dance with. If all of these things end up happening this week, just go with it. And don’t forget to love yourself.

To me February 14th is the day I get to check in with myself and take a close look at the ways I am loving myself and look at the ways I could step up the self love!

Here are 5 ways to make your Feb 14th your favorite day of the year!

1. Start the day with a bang!
This will set the tone for your Luv Day!  Choose a workout that you LOVE and feel beautiful and strong doing. Perhaps a killer spin or dance class, or take a long run. Maybe it’s about going inside yourself and doing yoga at home with great music and your dog. Whatever you choose, start your day by moving and connecting with your body!

2. Fuel your fire!
The very first meal you put into your body is a GREAT opportunity to show your body some good lovin’. Take time with your first meal like you would for someone else or you would enjoy someone doing for YOU! Be prepared with whatever you would LOVE to eat that morning. Make a beautiful plate for yourself and have something special at your table, maybe the really good flowers you don’t allow yourself to buy each week. Eating on pretty dishes and looking at a lovely table is a tiny way we can love ourselves each day. Give yourself the gift of eating your favorite breakfast and looking at beautiful things you enjoy.

3. Pick the perfect outfit!
This is YOUR day. Wear whatever you want and whatever you feel beautiful in. Wear that dress you love but is a little too dressy, or wear your favorite necklace AND your favorite shoes – who cares if they don’t match! The outfit on THIS day is about what you feel beautiful in. As you get dressed notice the things YOU LOVE about your body and say it out loud. Celebrate your curves, your shape, and appreciate what you do have! Doing this will make you feel beautiful no matter what you choose to put on top!

4. Strut your stuff momma!
Go into your day celebrating your life, your health, your passion, and all that YOU bring into the world! Feel grateful for the things you have learned and are excited about to begin changing what is not serving you. Carry yourself in the world as the woman you know you are today. Forgive and let go of the old version of yourself. But first, thank her for bringing you here to this place of self acceptance and peace. See how tall you walk now girl!

5. Make a date!
End your day with as much attention and love as you started it. Leave work early, turn off the computer, silence your ringer and have the best at-home date ever with your favorite person. You. Order in or pick up your favorite meal. Enjoy every bite. Have dessert, every bite. Taste this amazing food and think about your day. What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about how you much you love the woman you’ve become? Are you taking care of yourself like you would someone you love? Once you are done grab your favorite book and take a super hot bath. Let the heat sink into your skin and feel your strong body melt into the water. Take twenty-five long, slow breaths, and with every exhale think of how you can love yourself more each and every day. Once your bath is over make a date with yourself for next year. Same place! Same time!

Have I mentioned that I just finished a life-altering cleanse? During those two weeks I was put to the ultimate test: the Super Bowl! An annual affair synonymous with drinking, eating and shouting. Even though I am far from a sports nut, I love a wild Sunday Funday here and there. Superbowl is one of those days that will always be so debauterous, I tend to start the cleanse the day after.

This year, however, I was already on a cleanse. So what was I going to do? Stay home? Yes, I could have done that. I could stay home every time I didn’t want to drink a ton, and be tempted by heartburn-inducing fare. But what would that prove? That I can’t handle it. That I can’t say “no.” So I went out.

There I was, passing delicious mimosa’s over my head, or to the person to my left. Handing out plates so my friends could gorge on sticky, delicious-looking chicken wings. Watching the 12 people I sat with consume a cacophony of calories, and I, sipped my tea, shook my shake, and hoped I wouldn’t have to ask the waiter to fill my glass of water every single time he came to the table. I wasn’t isolated, or subdued. I can tell you that I was a little jealous. Who knew we’d be going to a place that offered roasted vegetable gluten free pizza?? But still I passed on it. I had a plan for what I was going to eat, and that’s all I ate!

It’s always around this time that I start to reflect. What did I learn? How did I challenge myself in this situation that I can impart on others that find themselves in similar situations? I learned that I wasn’t ostracized because I wasn’t partaking in what used to feel really like letting loose. I started to realize that this is what I should do when I’m out with one of those friends that pressures me into dessert. Politely just say no! It works! They will choose to order what they want and I don’t feel obligated to eat half or, in most cases, fight the other person’s fork every time they approach the shared plate!

I put myself in the most challenging environment I could think of, and I discovered that peer pressure is powerful. I am strong, but I do succumb to make other’s happy or to avoid having to explain myself. But when I can calmly just say no, and make it clear that that there is no further discussion, as nicely as possible, then everyone will lay off!

I also actually enjoyed the game! I was able to focus on what I was there to do! Experience the drama as the players tossed victory back-and-forth. When the game was over, I happily paid my cheapest tab to date, and I went home. I wasn’t hungover at 10pm and I was up early the next morning, ready to go into the next week! It was the Monday after Superbowl that I made these observations: 1) Damn the streets were dead. I’m pretty sure I was literally the only sober person in Los Angeles yesterday &  2) I should live everyday like tomorrow is the most important, and I want to be at the top of my game!

All-in-all I want you each to know that it’s hard to go out, it’s hard to exhibit self-control. But it’s only hard at first. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Practice does make perfect, and you can improve the person you choose to be when you leave your comfort zone.

I re-discovered how amazing it is to exercise on a cleanse! For the first week I took it easy with yoga and light cardio. Once I was through the first week I was ready to start amping it up to my normal routine. At one point, while taking a little jog, it occurred to me how wonderful it was to workout for the love of it. Not to burn off that extra bite of this, or extra glass of that. My energy was so clean. I smiled knowing that my routine would produce results that I wouldn’t sabotage with dinner or drinks. After every sweaty session of working out in the last two weeks I was in the best mood! I couldn’t shake it! It felt SO good to just enjoy moving and sculpting my body then just recovering, without overly rewarding myself and negating my work!

I enjoyed this cleanse so much, and felt so incredible, I have begun to think of ways that I can incorporate some of the food lessons I learned in the last two weeks into my daily life. Now that I’m all shiny and new, from the inside, how can I sustain my clean system? I’m going to start by eating vegetables like they are the best dessert I could imagine. I’m also going to start looking at cake like it is the crud waiting to lurk into my lower intestine that wants to corrode all the work I do to stay healthy! I found so many awesome recipes to make clean food even better with spices, healthy sauce or spreads! I’m going to use them daily and discover new ones that I will share on my website!

The bottom line is this: I’m a pretty good eater, and a I exercise regularly, but feeling THIS good is a gift. And I want to hold onto it. Of course I want to go back to being a little less limited, but not by much! If I went out or ate at a restaurant, I would check out the menu before I solidified plans to make sure something on the menu intrigued me. That’s something I should do anyway! I should always be conscious of the situation I’m walking into and excited by buying myself a meal!

There is so much self discovery and understanding through these little challenges we place in front of ourselves. I truly hope you had a positive experience with this cleanse and will continue to allow yourself to reap the benefits of treating yourself, and your body kindly.

The answer, I have learned, is no.

Here’s why. If that young parent passes out from lack of oxygen, who is going to help the baby? I get it now.

Extending this as metaphor to life in general, it holds true.

Too often as a young mom of a 19 month old toddler, I wonder if I’m doing things well enough. I wonder if my daughter feels loved enough. I wonder if I’m making choices that will affect her profoundly in ways that will be complex. I’m shaping her concept of reality and making lasting imprints on her consciousness; I’m shaping her perception of how the universe works. That’s a huge responsibility. I wondered about this all last year when I juggled full-time work and full-time graduate school. I still wonder about this now that I’m in the role of primary caregiver.

This past September–with my Master’s degree freshly obtained–my husband and I packed up our little log cabin life in Pennsylvania and headed west in search of some much needed change. Last year had some pretty big challenges for our little family, and we were determined to improve our circumstances, even if that meant losing a lot of stability (i.e., 2.8 acres of glorious Chester County land in a quaint and cozy home with a wood-burning fireplace, family and friends nearby, and all sense of familiarity).

Nothing changes when you’re comfortable; that’s what Angela says. She’s right. Sometimes we are the ones who have to push ourselves into discomfort to bring much needed change. Other times life has a way of telling you when you need change; in fact when things get tough enough, we may finally consider taking risks that we may have not considered viable options until it got that bad. We may consider new beginnings when something else ends. Sometimes doors close. Sometimes hearts get broken. Sometimes we get frustrated with ourselves and decide that it’s finally time to self-improve.

When life is uncomfortable–painful even–that’s when we need to draw on our resources to decide what we are going to do. Implicit in that statement is that we have resources. But resources don’t just come from nowhere. We have to find ways to strengthen, to equip, and to reinforce ourselves.

See–we can’t control life. We all know that. What we can control is how we respond. Our thoughts. Our attitudes. Our beliefs. Our behavior. When I first moved out here, I felt like everything was a blue screen and I was just standing in front of it. I had experienced so much change it seemed really challenging to feel like I was actually integrated into my new environment, my new life.

Then I started boot camp. Something magical happened to me. I would leave boot camp feeling so drained that I felt stronger. I had somehow managed to convert all the crap that had been bogging me down into self-empowerment, strength, inner peace, and a sense of self-efficacy. I know that vigorous exercise has many well documented physiological benefits. But I’ve worked out a lot. Angela’s boot camp is something more than just working out.

Angela has a way of pushing you to push yourself! The inspired bit of the company’s name, Body Inspired Fitness, is no joke. She really has a gift at getting inside your psyche and helping you channel what it is that motivates you to bring much needed change into your life. I find that throughout the week when I’m out running on my own her words return to me and her influence is present in my workout. It’s clear to me that when I’m at boot camp it’s not just my muscles getting stronger; it’s my whole person. She has given me a psychological tool kit for coping with life, for training myself to make time and space for the kind of life that I need to live to be well.

And that’s not even mentioning the camaraderie I feel with the other boot campers each session. After engaging in that kind of intense experience several times a week with the same group of people, I can’t help but feel like we’re all part of something bigger–the collective human experience. I know each person there has brought there own stuff to process and to transform into energy for life; I see the evidence for that magical transformation on each person’s face from the beginning to the end of a boot camp session.

I thought that I was signing up for one session of boot camp when I first moved here to LA. I thought that I’d drop a few pounds, get back in shape, and that would be it. Now, I feel like boot camp is my oxygen mask. It’s where I go to get the resources I need to live my life, and ultimately, to give back to others in my life who I love (i.e., my daughter). SO, honestly, I think the airlines have had it right all along; put your oxygen mask on first. Do it. Whether you’re a parent, or whether you’re reaching for your dreams in a pursuit that takes everything you’ve got every day, or perhaps you’re just living a life trying to be the best version of you that you can be–you won’t be good to anyone else if you try to go without giving yourself essential resources first.

When I get new workout clothes, I feel absolutely lovely. I’m motivated to jump right into my next intense workout. This might sound crazy, but it works. I feel like I push myself more, I keep my abs in tighter, I work harder. Put yourself in some stylish workout clothes, something you feel beautiful in. You can’t deny it…it’s a pretty awesome experience. I guarantee if you show up to your workouts feeling fit, feeling pretty, YOU WILL WORK HARDER, YOU WILL LOSE WEIGHT, YOU WILL FEEL AMAZING FROM THE INSIDE OUT. So it doesn’t hurt to be inspired by your wardrobe!

For me, that extra splash of confidence by looking and feeling super cute is what gets me through that last rep or that last brutal 30 mins of a three hour workout. As an athlete I need all I can get! As a girl I won’t settle for less and if that means I cheat a little by being looking cute…that’s fine by me! Violet Love makes both being a stylish athlete & woman super easy & super affordable.

So many fabulous things to say about Violet Love. I’m basically obsessed with their leggings! The fit! Colors! I have never seen such cool, flattering designs before on leggings! The fabric is just like heaven! Everyone just needs to experience the unbelievable comfort & cuteness for themselves. My new favorite discovery is the hoodie tank! It’s so long and so flattering and can be dressed up or down (with my VL leggings)! And the headbands are like NOTHING else on the market. I love that Violet Love is owned and ran by a brillant woman. I love female owned companies. I love that everything VL is American made.

Plus, just enter BIF at checkout to SAVE 20% on your purchase of Violet Love apparel. It never hurts to get more (& the best of the best quality) for less!

Look! Even Pumpkin is obsessed with Violet Love. What a babe!

This is a very common feeling. Knowing that you want something to change. Maybe you started reading blogs or magazines promising you J.Lo’s ass or Gwen’s abs. But how? You and I both know you can’t achieve those things from the couch in 15 minutes. It takes a level of dedication. I don’t know about you, but at certain points in the beginning of my fitness journey, I didn’t even know how to formulate the question. Do you need to be a mathematician to figure out how calories are broken down and burned? Do you need to map out a five mile run and just do it? Then what?

Luckily in this day and age there are a few helpers out there that don’t require us to either excel in a subject that is daunting, nor read a book that is just too boring to finish. You can just download them onto your phone or create a profile on your computer!

Here are a few little helpers that assist you in tracking your weight, tracking your fitness, and help you find out how to challenge yourself more to achieve your goals quicker than you ever thought possible!

-Get Running by Benjohn Barnes- This app promises to get you “from the couch to a 5k” in nine weeks! I know someone who lost 100lbs using this app! If you follow the training guide, you should be able to run a 5k in 30 minutes by the end of the 9 weeks!

-Pret-A-Yoga Lite- An app that leads you through Yoga poses if you are curious about trying yoga, or intimidated by the group setting of most yoga classes. This is amazing for beginners, and is a great confidence builder. Before you know it, you’ll be sweating in Hot Yoga and correcting the girl next to you on her crow pose!

-Nike+GPS- By tracking your progress, this app will coach you through your runs, and keeps you accountable by linking to your Facebook or Twitter! Most new Apple products like iTouch, iPhone or iPods come with it pre-loaded, so it’s free and very accurate! This is a great way to be aware of your progress! I think it also helps because sometimes knowing that your friends will see how often you get moving will keep you motivated to maintain progress. We’re probably Facebook friends, and I love reading people’s updates about a great walk or run!

-MyFitnessPal- What’s awesome about this app is if you don’t have an iPhone, you can keep an online profile, and just update it daily. You build a profile, state your weight goal, and it gives you a daily calorie allotment. You can also upload your exercise for the day, so it’ll give you extra calories based on what you burn that day. Bonus calories? I’ll take ‘em! It has a huge database of food, and if you don’t find what you ate, then you can add it to the database for other’s to use. For those of us who never were very conscious of what they were eating, it makes you much more aware of what you are putting into your body, sums it all up, and gives you a daily total.

Those are the apps that I love! Do you have any that you’d like to share that have helped you or that you think others would benefit from? Please feel free to share them!

We all need a little help sometimes! Thank god for technology and the developments that have allowed us to take the guesswork out of our goals. We’re all busy and we all want to be in a certain physical condition, so why not use these little helpers to guide you? That’s what they’re there for!